ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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