Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
