My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I smell stomach acid.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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