Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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