If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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