well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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