I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My bed smells like the plague
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
