Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize