i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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