census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
