a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize