You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
