What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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