I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
