so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
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Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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