My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
