:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
