2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
