Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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