We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize