it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
