sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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