he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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