thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
