i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
