Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
