sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
