I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
