i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
