i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize