So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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