If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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