Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
