my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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