I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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