She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Never joke about your clitoris.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
