i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize