Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
