i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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