he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
