Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
