you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
