The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
