she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
