You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
His nipple licking is glorious
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