I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
