do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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