I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
