i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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