Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize