Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
