Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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