So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize