Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
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