She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
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One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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