just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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