East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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