She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
