Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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