hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
