Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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